1.9 Tenderness
I’ve made fight the star of this chapter—a special kind of fight, upgrade fight.
But where does it come from? It doesn’t spring into existence on its own. Instead…
Tenderness comes first.
Which means…
You’re vulnerable to yourself.
You feel deeply what you need. You don’t hide from your need or buffer it or cover it up. You’re right there with it. As it is. As it really is. You stay true to yourself in this way. You hold yourself in your own heart, in the deepest place in your heart.
The storyline of the upgrade mission goes like this…
You deepen your tenderness to strengthen your fight.
Here’s how it works…
The more deeply I feel for myself, the more ready I am to fight for myself.
And then reciprocally…
The better I become at fighting for myself, the safer I feel being tender with myself.
Love songs often talk about two people becoming one. That’s the romance of merging. But that’s not what happens in this relationship between tenderness and fight.
Day by day, these two forces each become more of what they are. They become stronger in and of themselves. Which gives each of them a greater power to enrich the other.
And I’ve come to understand that…
My fight can only be as fierce as my tenderness runs deep.
